I’m a perfect Instagram mom. Do you believe that?
Am I a perfect mom? Is our life all as ideal as it might look on Instagram? Are all those mothers you see there aliens that can do it better than you?
Yesterday I was alone with two kids. I know most moms do that and much more, yet this fact didn’t make it easier for me. I slept 3 hours the night before because I had been working all night long, and Aveline woke me up at 6 am. I had been looking forward for today to go on with the work on our projects and write up this piece but Yasmin has been grumpy all day. Only now in the evening I finally got time to grab my laptop while Aveline is watching her cartoons (yes, we do let her watch cartoons). Let’s put aside the fact that I haven’t had a day for myself in ages, which is not unexplainable, I need to breastfeed every 2-3 hours. And well, this weekend has been overall pretty good for us. No emergencies like last Sunday with Aveline, no tantrums from Aveline like a month ago (at least we nailed that, in one of the next posts I’ll tell you how).
Does that sound like I am a perfect mom? Of course, not. None of the Instagram mothers are. But a week ago I got a message from one of my followers asking me whether our life is really as perfect as it seems. So if you also wonder that, here are my thoughts on that.
Why do I rarely show my troubles on Instagram? Well, I don’t actually feel like I can complain about my life. I have everything I have ever dreamt about. Okay, it may be difficult at times, with two children more difficult than with one. And yet I don’t feel I should nag to you. And when I feel like it, I recall these reasons.
Firstly, do you actually like reading about others’ problems? I guess everyone has their own. For me, Instagram is the source of inspiration and a place where I can express my creativity. To share my problems, I have my husband, my mom and my best friends. And I don’t even share all my negative thoughts with them due to the next two reasons.
Secondly, when you express your negative thought, the issue becomes greater in your head. Once you call it “a problem”, it becomes one. So I try to “forget” such little troubles. I believe that years later looking back I will miss even such “gray” days with our little babies.
And last but not least, I truly believe that I should not complain about my children. Even if it’s tempting sometimes. It’s not a good idea because I would not want them later to complain about me like that. They are already little humans with personalities and feelings, and I feel like complaining about them to others impersonates them.
Of course, it’s normal to feel down and trapped in motherhood sometimes. It’s a hard job and it’s human to take it all very personal. The question is what you decide to do with that, and it’s up to you what you share or talk about. Don’t be blinded by the perfect squares, every Insta-mom, no matter how impeccable her life looks, does have her hard times mothering and juggling babies, her relationship, career and the rest. We are all human, we are all weak and strong at times, we all have good and bad sides. Just be realistic next time you scroll your feed: Instagram is a source of inspiration, not a representative picture of the world! And well, of course, it’s up to you who you follow in the end…